Wanderings' Wanderings

Cover of Enemy Mine

Lately, one particular movie has been coming to the forefront of my mind. The movie? The 1985 classic, Enemy Mine staring Louis Gossett, Jr. and Dennis Quaid. At first glance it’s a Sci-Fi about two races, one human and the other alien, and their fight for dominance, but on a whole other level it’s about two individuals who come together to discover the real problem isn’t outside, but deep within themselves. It is, in my humble opinion, a story about personal development and inner growth.

The reason this particular movie comes to mind is a dear friend recently found, and suggested I read the following: http://tsemtulku.com/en/teachings/contemplations/the-enemy-is-within/menu-id-15.html

What I’d really like for you to do is take a moment to click on the above link before you continue reading.  It will open in a separate window or tab so you can bookmark that page, then come back here any time you’d like.  It is very short and to the point so please go there now and read the wonderful article.

Welcome back…

“The Enemy Is Within” is the most perfect discourse of how we convince ourselves we don’t have to take personal responsibility for our own thoughts, actions, growth, or personal, words, or deeds.  It seems as if it is far easier to place the blame outside ourselves and think of ourselves as above the minutia that to truly look inward and see the real cause of what’s going on around us.

How easy is it to say, “It’s not my fault people don’t listen to me”, or “Why does no one help me when I need help?”, or even, “No one else but me knows what their talking about.  If they don’t agree with me, then they aren’t worthy of me.” Statements like these are nothing more than ego strokes and only serve to further separate the individual from the perfect truth that you and you alone are responsible for everything you are and everything you do.

As His Eminence Tsem Tulku Rinpoche  stated, “If the enemy was on the outside, we should all be walking Buddhas. If your enemy is on the outside, then move to the moon. All your problems should be solved….  …Realizing the enemy is on the inside, stop blaming others.”

You and you alone are your own worst enemy.  You and you alone prevent yourself from recognizing the perfection of everything around you.  If all you see around you are people who are unable to see as you see, then perhaps you are the one with the problem.

“Buddha and Christ are wrong, I am right.
Millions love them. No one loves me.
Hmmm??? Destroy self cherishing mind.”

It is only the self-gratifying mind that tells others their beliefs are wrong.  It is only the self-gratifying mind that tells others what they should and should not believe.  It is the self-gratifying mind that causes others to suffer due to needless name calling.  It is the self-gratifying mind who refuses to acknowledge any personal wrong-doing.

“The enemy, your true foe, the cause of all pains, the master of deception is the SELF CHERISHING MIND.”

“So, how do I break the cycle?”  The first thing is to at least acknowledge YOU and YOU ALONE hold responsibility for your words and actions.  Don’t hide behind self-gratifying convictions and delusions that everyone else around you is the bad-guy.  Don’t blame other people for your failings, and don’t convince yourself you had good reason to blame others or call others names.

While I don’t agree with the practice, the principle of Catholic “confession” is, for the most part, sound.  It was in the facing another person, a priest, where we would divulge our faults and not be able to get away with justifying or convincing ourselves we were doing what we had to at the time in order to accomplish a greater good.  We had to lay out the truth as it was, with no fluff.  “I did this, it was my fault, it was my responsibility.” Period.

That is the very same thing we need to do in order to move past the crap of self-delusion; not to a priest, or some other “confessor”, but to ourselves in the private of our own meditations.  Just throw it out there.  “I did this, it was my fault, it was my responsibility.” STOP!  Don’t go any further.  Don’t breath another word.  Don’t convince yourself that someone else is an asshole and deserves to be called names.  Don’t convince yourself that someone else is to blame for the world crumbling around you.  Don’t convince yourself you are justified in your actions.  It is all self-gratification and drags you further down than you already are.  Once you have acknowledged the self-responsibility, then make the commitment to change the behavior.  This is not a moment for self flagellation.  Do not think of yourself as a bad person because that only defeats the purpose of getting rid of negative behavior.  Do not compound one negativity with another.  If, in order to move beyond the hurt you have caused others, you need to make amends, then do so.  It’s that simple.  Swallow your pride, remove the ego and superiority complex, and then get on with your life.  It does not need to be anymore difficult than this: acknowledge personal responsibility, forgive yourself and commit to change, make amends, get on with life.

The alternative is tocontinue to suffer with out ever realizing the cause.  Karma really is a bugger!

Choose!

Be Well and BB,

K

My wife and I taught our marathon intro class this past weekend (16 hours of teaching, all in two days).  The subject: Intro to Energy Healing and Reiki.  Both she and I have 20+ years of experience in the field and have been teaching this subject at our local college for the past 3 years.  This is the first time we were asked the question about those who might have a stronger will and can it be imposed on others against their own wills.

There is of course, the easy answer, the right answer, and the hard answer, but they are all the same answer and they are answered by asking a question.  “Why would you give someone else that much power over you?”

Someone else can only impose their will on you if you allow them to do so.  I’ve heard of Reiki practitioners who send people energy willy-nilly in the hope they will look good for the attempt, but doing so is actually a violation of the precepts of Reiki and of Energy Healing in general.  Doing so takes the power away from the individual needing the healing because now the practitioner is deciding when the person needs Reiki energy completely bypassing the person receiving.

“Oh they still have the choice to accept the energy or not!”  Wrong!  If they are unaware of the energy being sent, how can they chose to refuse it?!   No matter how you try to apologize for the action, sending someone else energy without their permission is WRONG and superimposes your will on them.  You’ve just raped someone by forcing your own energy on someone!

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Have you ever been so afraid of something you can’t see beyond it no matter how obvious?  When I was a child I used to be very afraid of the dark; so much so that if I should happen to wake up during the night and either the night-light had been turned off, or the bulb had burned out, I would freeze in complete terror.  We’re talking complete paralysis. 

Image by via Flickr

One day I was talking with a friend of mine who just happened to have the same problem and so we commiserated about what we thought was a rather unusual problem.  Just as we were talking about it, my friend’s father came in and said what I thought at the time was the most profound thing I had every heard.  He said, “You know how you can kind of see the shapes of things.  Well that means it’s not totally dark because the stars outside give off light in the sky.”

I was floored.  I was finally empowered though I didn’t know it at the time.  Something so simple as telling a child the stars give off light can be the single most empowering thing for a child.  In my case, it was my freedom.

That night, I woke up, frozen as usual with terror, but something was different.  I remembered the words of my friend’s father and tried to look out my window to see if I could see the stars.  Before I realized what I was doing, I was on my feet craning my neck to get the best view possible.  I never again woke frozen in terror.

Many years ago I learned the stars also shined during the day, we just couldn’t see them so easily.

Do you see the dark, or the stars?

Peace

BB

K

There is so much I turned my back on when I decided to return to the Catholic church so many years ago, but I’ve learned a great deal from being on this particular path.  I have to admit much of what I learned involved how NOT to be in this life and how NOT to act, mainly because of the very things I encountered with just about every step I took.  Now that I am no longer a part of that path I find myself gravitating towards old familiar roads, but longing for the familiarity of the recent past.

Recently I’ve come to a sort of crossroads in my life: do I continue with the same old thing and the same old story, or do I move towards the unseen and unknown?

I’ve been holding so much inside these past 8 years (not including the 14 or 15 years prior to entering the independent movement) that I feel as if I’m about to pop my top.  I’ve encountered everything from priests who lie and steal, to affairs, bigotry, mental illness, complete lack of moral fiber, and most recently, débutantes, narcissists, extreme violent tendencies, and brainwashed individuals.

There is also this one minister who seems to encompass everything a minister should most definitely NOT be and yet he seems to have a groupie following of several “yes” people.  I call them back-rubbers because all they seem to do is give him kudos and nothing else.  He spends a great deal of his time begging for money for this project for for that house, and not a penny seems to surface for any of his endeavors.  So what does he do?  He calls his back-rubbers names and puts them down or attempts to guilt them into giving by questioning their worthiness.  Is that really love and compassion???

This very same individual teaches love, compassion, understanding, forgiveness, and all the goodies from all of the great religions, but if someone crosses him or tries to investigate him, wow, watch out!  He becomes violent, self-centered, irrational, and launches into a series of name-calling and bad-mouthing; everything you’d expect from someone who preaches one thing, but does another!

Well, I did investigate this person as I had found documents and documentation that told a very different story than the three other stories he has out there regarding his past.  He found out!  Guess who became the brunt of his newest jokes, name-calling, and reputation destroying “Dharma” talks?  Yep!  And he just can’t seem to let go even though that’s what he tells everyone else to do.  Sound familiar in any way?  (Jim Jones, Sri Donato, Michael Trevasser, and others…)

You will only know who I’m talking about if you’ve been a part of this process, otherwise don’t bother asking because unlike him, I do have ethics and I won’t reveal his current name.  Call me old fashioned, but I still believe in giving someone the benefit of the doubt and even though he still tries to destroy me (from what I’ve heard from others in the know) I will still send him positive and loving energy.  He’s human and deserves at least that much!

However because of him, I am going to caution you all to adhere to the following 10 easy rules of life: (These are all things he has NOT done with regards to recent situations.)

1. Ask questions before you jump to conclusions:  I was recently told I don’t qualify for certain funding because I’m not sufficiently of another minority simply because of the color of my skin (even though my mother was born and raised in the country in question and should be the dominant gene, I take after my father who was Canadian.).  I wrote an explosive retort in another blog a while back where I wasn’t too kind and said some things in a manner which should have been handled differently, but I never gave details of the reason for the explosion.   The very same man talked about above was so vain that he thought I was expressing disdain for an African American friend of his and so I am now known as Fr. KKKen simply because I called someone else a racist pig.  He of course never bothered to ask me what was going on, or ask to whom I was referring.  He only assumed.
2. Never make assumptions!
3. Get to know someone before you judge them.
4. You should never judge someone because you will never truly know them no matter how well you think you can read minds!
5. If you become confused about numbers 3. and 4., then see number 6.
6. You can not read minds, you can not know a person totally so get over yourself.  You are not the end-all be-all almighty guru of life.  Let people share what they want to about themselves and treat them as every human should be treated: with respect, love and dignity.
7. Don’t lie about who you are, or who you have been.  Trust me, the paperwork is out there for others to find and you will be found out whether you like it or not.  If you are found out, own up to it (it’s called personal responsibility for your own actions) and move on!  People will forgive you if you are honest.  Don’t make it seem as if you are being persecuted because that turns people off and just makes you look like a fool!
8. Don’t put your own friends, or flock down.  Degrading your own people is pretty stupid as it causes people to leave you!  If you are frustrated with them, tell them you are frustrated, don’t tell them they are worthless!
9. Learn to express yourself appropriately.  Don’t launch into violent, abusive tirades.  Take time to settle and think.  (This is one I still need to do myself, but you should see the e-mails this one person sent…  wow are they disturbing!)
10. Sit and listen.  You should be listening to your friends and NOT to yourself.  If something doesn’t sit well with you, then see number 1 and ask questions.  Chances are you are assuming something so see number  2.  If you still don’t feel right about something, then the better thing to do is simply walk away.  Don’t be the cause of more upset and discord!  Peace and love are not achieved by calling others name.  That’s childish and immature.  Get over yourself and find some other thing to direct your energy towards!

There is of course a lot more I’ve learned not to do from all the various people I’ve met on this path, but you know what?  It’s starting to depress me again, so this is the last bit of energy I’m spending towards this issue.  I need to move on and heal and find where the path is leading me now.  I need to remember there is a positive side to all of this and that rests with all those who have found hope and love through any of the many programs my wife and I have been a part of or started throughout the  years.  Or all those moments when someone came to us looking for direction, advice or just to have an ear to listen to their stories.

I need to remember those people we helped find a Mosque to attend, or Lutheran Church, or any one of the other varied denominations.  Unity, just 5 blocks from here, probably has had more people sent to them than I’ve ever had for parishioners: all because that’s what the people needed.  It was never my job to force people to attend my services, listen to my sermons, or beg them to give me money to support my ministry.  They spoke their needs, I helped them find the path.  It is that simple.  I don’t have an ego that needs to be fed regularly in order to survive, unlike a great many I’ve found on this path.

So, I go forth.  Not with the Catholics, not with the Protestants, nor with any of the other well known vehicles to the Divine.  For now, I am myself and I am in discovery mode.  For now I return to the path I was on before I returned to Catholicism; a path of learning who I am in the greater scheme of things, of self-worth, self determination, and most important – Self Responsibility.

I can no longer deal with the garbage of ill-health others impose because they think they are all important.  Instead, I will deal once again with the prospect that every person is good first and has the capability of great things.

There is no devil folks!  There is no evil force trying to take over your life. It’s just a ploy created to dump the responsibility for your own actions on a fictious character.  Hoist yourself up and take responsibility for who and what you are, and what you do and have done, then walk alone into the silence of discovery.  If you aren’t happy with what you see when you look in the mirror, then don’t just bitch about it, do something!

If in the end someone views me with a certain light, then that’s on them, and them alone.  All I ask is that you let me be and practice what you preach.  You don’t have to like me, and to be honest, I really don’t care if you do or don’t.  Those who do like me, know me because I have shared who I am, and have shared my life with them.  Those that don’t like me have never taken the time to get to know me and chances are they are really unhappy with themselves and just projecting a lack of self-worth on someone else so they don’t have to deal with it internally!  I believe in the rule of thirds: a third of the people will like you, a third won’t and a third simply don’t give a damn!  Personally?  I don’t care which third you are!  If you want to know me, welcome, if not, move on!  I leave my hand open to anyone who has wronged me.  The choice is yours.

Life is simple folks, just try to get along with your neighbor and treat others with the same respect you want them to show you.  If you show an utter disrespect for others, guess what’s headed in your direction.

Treat others as you would have them treat you!  Period.

Peace,

BB

K