15 Dec
Enemy Mine, Enemy Me.
Cover of Enemy Mine
Lately, one particular movie has been coming to the forefront of my mind. The movie? The 1985 classic, Enemy Mine staring Louis Gossett, Jr. and Dennis Quaid. At first glance it’s a Sci-Fi about two races, one human and the other alien, and their fight for dominance, but on a whole other level it’s about two individuals who come together to discover the real problem isn’t outside, but deep within themselves. It is, in my humble opinion, a story about personal development and inner growth.
The reason this particular movie comes to mind is a dear friend recently found, and suggested I read the following: http://tsemtulku.com/en/teachings/contemplations/the-enemy-is-within/menu-id-15.html
What I’d really like for you to do is take a moment to click on the above link before you continue reading. It will open in a separate window or tab so you can bookmark that page, then come back here any time you’d like. It is very short and to the point so please go there now and read the wonderful article.
Welcome back…
“The Enemy Is Within” is the most perfect discourse of how we convince ourselves we don’t have to take personal responsibility for our own thoughts, actions, growth, or personal, words, or deeds. It seems as if it is far easier to place the blame outside ourselves and think of ourselves as above the minutia that to truly look inward and see the real cause of what’s going on around us.
How easy is it to say, “It’s not my fault people don’t listen to me”, or “Why does no one help me when I need help?”, or even, “No one else but me knows what their talking about. If they don’t agree with me, then they aren’t worthy of me.” Statements like these are nothing more than ego strokes and only serve to further separate the individual from the perfect truth that you and you alone are responsible for everything you are and everything you do.
As His Eminence Tsem Tulku Rinpoche stated, “If the enemy was on the outside, we should all be walking Buddhas. If your enemy is on the outside, then move to the moon. All your problems should be solved…. …Realizing the enemy is on the inside, stop blaming others.”
You and you alone are your own worst enemy. You and you alone prevent yourself from recognizing the perfection of everything around you. If all you see around you are people who are unable to see as you see, then perhaps you are the one with the problem.
“Buddha and Christ are wrong, I am right.
Millions love them. No one loves me.
Hmmm??? Destroy self cherishing mind.”
It is only the self-gratifying mind that tells others their beliefs are wrong. It is only the self-gratifying mind that tells others what they should and should not believe. It is the self-gratifying mind that causes others to suffer due to needless name calling. It is the self-gratifying mind who refuses to acknowledge any personal wrong-doing.
“The enemy, your true foe, the cause of all pains, the master of deception is the SELF CHERISHING MIND.”
“So, how do I break the cycle?” The first thing is to at least acknowledge YOU and YOU ALONE hold responsibility for your words and actions. Don’t hide behind self-gratifying convictions and delusions that everyone else around you is the bad-guy. Don’t blame other people for your failings, and don’t convince yourself you had good reason to blame others or call others names.
While I don’t agree with the practice, the principle of Catholic “confession” is, for the most part, sound. It was in the facing another person, a priest, where we would divulge our faults and not be able to get away with justifying or convincing ourselves we were doing what we had to at the time in order to accomplish a greater good. We had to lay out the truth as it was, with no fluff. “I did this, it was my fault, it was my responsibility.” Period.
That is the very same thing we need to do in order to move past the crap of self-delusion; not to a priest, or some other “confessor”, but to ourselves in the private of our own meditations. Just throw it out there. “I did this, it was my fault, it was my responsibility.” STOP! Don’t go any further. Don’t breath another word. Don’t convince yourself that someone else is an asshole and deserves to be called names. Don’t convince yourself that someone else is to blame for the world crumbling around you. Don’t convince yourself you are justified in your actions. It is all self-gratification and drags you further down than you already are. Once you have acknowledged the self-responsibility, then make the commitment to change the behavior. This is not a moment for self flagellation. Do not think of yourself as a bad person because that only defeats the purpose of getting rid of negative behavior. Do not compound one negativity with another. If, in order to move beyond the hurt you have caused others, you need to make amends, then do so. It’s that simple. Swallow your pride, remove the ego and superiority complex, and then get on with your life. It does not need to be anymore difficult than this: acknowledge personal responsibility, forgive yourself and commit to change, make amends, get on with life.
The alternative is tocontinue to suffer with out ever realizing the cause. Karma really is a bugger!
Choose!
Be Well and BB,
K
Posted by jsoldon on 15.12.09 at 11:32 am
Thank you for this blog.
It is far easier to blame others and look outside ourselves for the cause of a problem, than taking responsibility for one’s actions and words.
“It is only the self-gratifying mind that tells others their beliefs are wrong. It is only the self-gratifying mind that tells others what they should and should not believe. It is the self-gratifying mind that causes others to suffer due to needless name calling. It is the self-gratifying mind who refuses to acknowledge any personal wrong-doing.”
How can our egos get so our of control thinking our thoughts are the correct ones, our ideas are brilliant, our beiefs are what others should believe. Do we have to tear others down so we feel built up?
It does all start with ourselves and it shouldn’t be as difficult as it seems to be to “own” what is ours and not put it off on someone else.